To love or not to love??

love has always been described as something that brings one a warm pleasant feeling in the depths of your bosoms. Something that makes one feel like they belong, that even through all the flaws you are are perfect still in that love. That even though there is better out there, no one can be better than you are to that person. That if love could be compared to sound, it would be compared to chime bell on window sill, gently swaying and tinkling with every sweet movement. To the sound of birds tweeting and the whisper of the soft wind brushing against your face. To the sound of sweet, sweet laughter that when you hear, you cant help but smile...

So is this love??

Love is dark, full of tears, torment and heartbreak. Love gives people the opportunity to violently tear out someone's heart, trample and abuse it only to give it back with " I'm sorry".
Love is a method to control those who wear their hearts on their sleeve. Love is not for those of the pure in heart that only want to love. You see life is cruel to those that are sensitive, to those that care about things that they shouldn't two shits about. Why??? Because although everyone says "aww she's so nice and kind" they laugh behind your back and think of many ways they can use you because its sooo easy. So easy to manipulate someone that just really wants to help you and publicly shows that they care for you...deeply.

Then you sink right back into the depths of darkness that you are trying oh so hard to escape. This time by the person who has your heart, your love. Your personality and care for others being the iron ball and chain chained to your legs, pulling you into the depths of darkness, and the one you love?? slowly cutting the last piece of rope keeping you from disappearing into the darkness forever....

edge of darkness

Life is simpler when we are young. The world seems full of possibility and so we dream. We dream because we are so full of hope. Our imagination limitless...

And then we grow...we are faced with the harsh realities of the world. We realise the world is not as kind as it once was. We are given countless opportunities to be optimistic about our woes, to look for a silver lining or to view the glass as half full. Some will succeed but soon our burdens become heavy and heavier till they begin to dig into our shoulders. Again we could try to optimistic but some are weak. Some get engulfed in a darkness created by the negativity, lack of hope, failed dreams and general hardship. 

You can't help but wallow in self pity with a feeling of unworthiness. Like maybe you deserve all this because you didn't work hard enough or didn't take the right path. But the depth of your darkness deepens...You find distractions alcohol, friends, drugs. Anything that will make you forget, anything that will make you happy even if it is only for a few moments, anything that will make you numb. 

But then something happens...you find love. But because of your insecurities you cant be sure they love you back. But its only the beginning and in the depth of your darkness a candle has been lit....